Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Danger of an Insecure Father

One of my all time favorite comedy programs is The Dick Van Dyke Show. Now, through the wonders of Netflix, I can watch it to my hearts delight. I recently watched an episode, however, that kind of hit a bit close to home to me – a husband and father of three. In this episode the father figure of the show, Rob, becomes very insecure at work, to the point that he thinks his co-worker is conspiring against him to take his job. It gets to the point that Rob thinks he is losing his ability to do his job well, while the other employee is suddenly shining in the boss’ eyes. Rob’s insecurity transcended into his home, where his insecurity started manifesting itself everywhere. He became paranoid and insensitive with his wife Laura, and harsh with his son Richie. Finally Richie asks his Laura “What’s wrong with Daddy?” to which Laura responds, “Daddy just doesn’t like himself right now.” Richie answers, poignantly, “I like daddy better when he likes himself.”


Richie’s comments hit me hard as I, as much as I don’t want to admit it, am quite sensitive at times and become my own worst enemy. My thought life runs wild and a small mistake quickly becomes a massive deal in my own head. The next thing you know, I think I am completely inadequate and start beating myself up verbally. The byproduct of this downward spiral is that it inhibits our ability to lead our families the way God wants us to. We become short with our wives and harsh on our children, not because of anything they’ve done, but because we are really mad at ourselves.


Dads, we need to remind ourselves that we too are God’s children. Our perfect Father created us for a purpose and loves us unconditionally. That doesn’t mean we don’t make mistakes, big ones at times, but we strive to improve, not wallow in our failures. Paul exhorts us to “Forget what is behind us and strive for what is ahead.” (Philippians 3:13) God, our Abba Father (translated: Daddy), calls us His children and has prepared in advance good works for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). We become ineffective in our God given task of being lights for Him (Matthew 5:16) and leading our families (Ephesians 6:4), when we selfishly entertain the negative thoughts we have about ourselves. We need to be honest with ourselves and look for areas where we need to improve, but the goal is to work toward improvement, not self-destruct. We will fall short of what we desire to be and what God expects of us, as we are fallible people, hence the necessity of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and subsequent resurrection. When we feel inadequate, we need to recognize that with Christ we are adequate to complete the job He has given us: to lead our families, and be an example of Christ in the world.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Shell and the Glory

My family and I had the miserable experience recently of having our beloved dog, Lady, pass away. It was quite unexpected. Saving you from the details, she passed away in the middle of the night. To spare my family of seeing her this way, I got up and moved her body to the garage for the remainder of the night until I could bury her in the morning. I was very sad at her passing and was telling her one last goodbye before I picked her up to move her. As soon as I picked her up, though, I realized that “Lady” was no longer there. What I carried into the garage was merely a shell. The dog I loved was gone.

I do not relay this to you to bum you out. Carrying my dog’s body was a brutal reminder to me that we all, as human beings, are currently “renting space” in the bodies we are currently inhabit. Some day we will be glorified in an imperishable body and will abide with Christ, and our fellow believers, forever (1 Corinthians 15:35-58). With that in mind, what is our goal in this life? To accumulate accolades, rewards, wealth, esteem, and a legacy that is worthless when our spirits leave our bodies and all that is left is an empty shell that will be buried and mourned?

Christ’s words in Matthew 6:19-21 become all the more real when we think seriously about death. Storing up for ourselves treasures in heaven should become our aim, where moth and rust cannot destroy and we can bask in God’s glory with our heavenly treasures for all eternity. This does not mean that we abandon our earthly callings, but instead those callings can serve a higher purpose as everything we do as believers (including your profession, relationships, and wealth) should be with the intent of pointing people toward Christ and glorifying Him (Colossians 3:17 and 1 Corinthians 10:31). We will then reap the eternal benefits of our life lived on earth.