One of the toughest lessons to learn in life is how to
handle disappointment. Our youth got a
crash course in dealing with disappointment recently when the mission trip we
were to take to Mexico City over Spring Break was postponed due to inclement
weather preventing our flight from making the trip. The students worked
countless hours fundraising, wrote letters, raised over $17,000, trained,
packed, and traveled to Billings only to come back home and unpack their
suitcases without venturing to their destination. It was very disappointing;
there is no way around that. The oft-used cliché, “that’s life” is not very
helpful yet it is accurate. All of us are forced, more than we’d like, to make
the best of disappointing situations. Our postponed missions trip is a great
opportunity for the team to learn how to soldier through disappointment to a
brighter day.
Those people who cannot “roll with the punches” find
themselves in a miserable life. Many people who are overcome with frequent
disappointments are overcome not because of the volume of disappointments they
deal with, but are overwhelmed due to their expectations in life. When we
demand perfection from our lives, we are disappointed. The happiness of many
people is determined on life’s circumstances being perfect. When it is not,
they pout and pout often.
Think about the people you like to be around the most. Why
do you like to be around them? More than likely they are cheery and optimistic.
Meanwhile, the people you avoid are often the “Eeyores” you encounter daily.
You know the type, the ones for whom the glass is always half-empty. The
reality is that if you were a fly on the wall of both people’s homes, you’d probably
find that they share the same amount of disappointments in their lives, they
just handle them differently.
So what should I do to handle disappointments better? Here
is what I do in dealing with disappointment:
1) Expect
disappointment. This doesn’t mean become a pessimist, nor does it mean you
become paranoid. It just means that when something bad happens, you’re not
caught off guard. The Bible flat out tells us that this sinful world and sinful
people (of which I am one) will hurt us and let us down. Jesus tell us in John 16:33, “I
have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you
will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”(ESV) Notice
the full verse? We will have tribulation, but we can soldier through it in
peace because we have Christ as our advocate.
2) Look for
opportunity. One of the greatest opportunities you have to be a witness to
others is to be optimistic and positive in the face of disappointment. The
leaders on the missions trip had a great chance to show the kids calm and
positivism in light of disappointment by remaining positive and pointing out
some of the cool opportunities that could come out of a trip postponement. The
peace we are given by Christ, as mentioned in John 16:33, is something that
will surpass human understanding. (Philippians 4:7) We want to draw people to
Christ. Disappointments often give us an opportunity to cling to Christ and
show we trust Him regardless of blessings or disappointments. People will take
notice if we are able to handle life’s storms with s smile on our face. When
they ask how we are able to handle it, we have a golden opportunity to share
Christ with them.
3) Give
yourself limited time to pout. It is
ok to grieve a disappointment and even pout. The key is to allow yourself a
limited time to pout. This means fighting against your natural inclination to
feel like a victim, or to shout “This isn’t fair” at the sky. It is okay to
embrace these emotions briefly, then emerge from your self-inflicted cloud and
attack your gloominess by being proactive in seeking a way out. Moving into
service, activity, or spending time with a healthy relationship can help the
healing and process of moving on. Don’t
become a “Debbie Downer.” If you consistently complain about the problems this
world is inflicting upon you, you will eventually find yourself alone. Be a
person that trusts God knows what He is doing, and act like you trust Him. Find ways to serve Him. It is not only a
good antidote to depression, but also answers the call to the Great Commandment
(Matthew 22:37) and Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20)
