The Lessons of Rigor

This month we are announcing our mission’s trip to Nicaragua,
from July 31st – August 6th. I am willing to bet that about half of
you might say, “Hmm, there’s nothing on the calendar that week,
but I wonder what might come up? It’s awfully early. We need to
wait and see what’ll be happening that week before we commit.” I
say this because I hear that a lot in ministry work. Many people are
afraid to commit to a church activity, or a family vacation, because
they are nervous that a coach might announce a “voluntary” camp
or a club leader may be requesting your teen’s services, so they wait
for the “just in case” scenario. I propose that, if the calendar is
blank and you are planning a family trip, or thinking of going on
the missions’ trip, you write it on the calendar and the extracurricular
activity can take second place to family time or church
activity.

I am not saying this as an outsider, but as a former athlete and
coach, and current pastor who is frustrated with how little time our
teenagers have to spend in church activities they used to enjoy, or
with their families, because we fill it with the “rigor” of school and
extra-curricular activities. What lessons do our teens learn from
having to be to school an hour early, and spend two to three hours a
night doing homework, forfeiting family vacations for basketball
camp, or a mission’s trip for a school-related, “voluntary” activity?
We teach them that responsible youths put their academic and
athletic life, as well as achievements, ahead of family and God. We
teach them that when they are married and have kids, it will be
more important to stay at the office and get the job done, or travel
away on business, rather than attend a little league game, because
achievement is the top priority. Is that the lesson we want our teens
to glean from their teenage experiences?

I am not saying this so that kids go on the mission’s trip. I believe
God will move the right kids to go on the trip. I am saying this as a
concerned adult who works with teens and sees teenager after
teenager forsake family for an AP class or an athletic schedule that
keeps a family from eating dinner together – ever. Such a schedule
does not demand too much of their abilities or energy, but it
demands too much of their allegiance. The grade, and the sport,
must come first; families and church are for graduates.

This former coach and former teacher disagrees. I think it is time
that we put Mark 12:30 to practice, and love the Lord our God with
our everything, not just our left-overs. I think we should care more
about what God and our parents think, and less what our teachers
and coaches think. You will have temporary fame and achievement
during your short four years in high school, most of which people
will forget about within four years of your departure (sorry to break
it to you). You will spend a lifetime on earth with your family and
an eternity with God; don’t you want a strong bond with those who
matter most? I use to be afraid of what my coaches thought of me
when I missed an open gym or off-season workout for a family trip.
Now, not one of my coaches even knows where I live. I received
many athletic accolades as a high school student, and not one of
them has transferred to career success as an adult. Did I learn some
great lessons as an athlete? Absolutely. The lessons, however, are
starting to gravitate from actual lessons to pride in accomplishment,
something that we are warned to be very careful about.

So next time your family is faced with a conflict of family time vs.
school or extra-curricular activity, I urge you to think long and hard
before you take these years for granted.