One of my all time favorite comedy programs is The Dick Van Dyke Show. Now, through the wonders of Netflix, I can watch it to my hearts delight. I recently watched an episode, however, that kind of hit a bit close to home to me – a husband and father of three. In this episode the father figure of the show, Rob, becomes very insecure at work, to the point that he thinks his co-worker is conspiring against him to take his job. It gets to the point that Rob thinks he is losing his ability to do his job well, while the other employee is suddenly shining in the boss’ eyes. Rob’s insecurity transcended into his home, where his insecurity started manifesting itself everywhere. He became paranoid and insensitive with his wife Laura, and harsh with his son Richie. Finally Richie asks his Laura “What’s wrong with Daddy?” to which Laura responds, “Daddy just doesn’t like himself right now.” Richie answers, poignantly, “I like daddy better when he likes himself.”
Richie’s comments hit me hard as I, as much as I don’t want to admit it, am quite sensitive at times and become my own worst enemy. My thought life runs wild and a small mistake quickly becomes a massive deal in my own head. The next thing you know, I think I am completely inadequate and start beating myself up verbally. The byproduct of this downward spiral is that it inhibits our ability to lead our families the way God wants us to. We become short with our wives and harsh on our children, not because of anything they’ve done, but because we are really mad at ourselves.
Dads, we need to remind ourselves that we too are God’s children. Our perfect Father created us for a purpose and loves us unconditionally. That doesn’t mean we don’t make mistakes, big ones at times, but we strive to improve, not wallow in our failures. Paul exhorts us to “Forget what is behind us and strive for what is ahead.” (Philippians 3:13) God, our Abba Father (translated: Daddy), calls us His children and has prepared in advance good works for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). We become ineffective in our God given task of being lights for Him (Matthew 5:16) and leading our families (Ephesians 6:4), when we selfishly entertain the negative thoughts we have about ourselves. We need to be honest with ourselves and look for areas where we need to improve, but the goal is to work toward improvement, not self-destruct. We will fall short of what we desire to be and what God expects of us, as we are fallible people, hence the necessity of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and subsequent resurrection. When we feel inadequate, we need to recognize that with Christ we are adequate to complete the job He has given us: to lead our families, and be an example of Christ in the world.
