Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Meet The Parents!

Dear Parents and Youth,

Youth, when you first get a date with your crush, and they come to pick you up or you go to pick them up, do yourself a favor and meet the parents. I know it sounds like a small, and also intimidating thing, but it is a great way to hold yourself accountable on your date. By looking at your dates parents eyeball to eyeball, you suddenly now realize that you are taking out someones son or daughter, and not just he object of your infatuation. You are less likely to put yourself in a tempting situation if you make yourself available to be accountable to one another’s parents. It will not totally remove temptation from you, you will still have to make decisions to avoid tempting settings, but it does reduce the likelihood of you fooling around with your date that night.

Parents, the next step is where you come in. Insisit in meeting your child’s date. Then, when you meet them, find out their plan for the evening. Adopt the policy of, “no plan, no date.” Listen intently to the plan and see where the teens might be putting themselves in a bad situation with eachother. Finally, lay out your expectations for their behavior on the date Trust your child, but don’t trusth their hormones. The best, most Christlike teens, still fall into sexual temptation every day. Your responsibility as a parent it to protect them from themselves. Promote group dating and creative dating ideas for your child where they can get to know the other person, instead of vegging with the lights off alone in your basement watching a movie. Even if you are upstairs, there is a high liklihood that some lip-locking is going on when you’re not actually in the room. It is okay to check up on your child when they are on a date, but let them know before the date starts you will be checking up on them, do not be sneaky about it.

Finally, for both of you, have a conversation when the date is done. Parents, ask specific questions. Teens, be honest. Avoid the, “How was your time?” question, with the response of “fine.” Ask if they kissed, ask if they went further, be specific. Teen, it may be uncomfortable, but knowing your mom or dad will be asking at the end of the date what you did is a great deterrant to sexual mistakes.

We are called to glorify God in all we do, that includes your dating life.

-Pastor Adam